Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
