He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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