Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
