I think i peed on brittanys purse
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
