ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
