Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
