We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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