Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
