Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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