She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
