You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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