Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
