cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
