I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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