FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
