grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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