two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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