I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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