Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
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