Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
two words...techno handjob
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
