You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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