Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
this boner is exhausting
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
