just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
