We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
