If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
