do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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