well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
