Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You're a waste of cheezeits
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
