She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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