So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I have post one night stand depression
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
