what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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