can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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