and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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