yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The feeling are messing with the penis
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
