he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
