I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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