I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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