just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
