All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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