We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Randomize
