where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
