Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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