Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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