Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
