My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
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