How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
