Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
