Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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