She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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