who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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